I fucked up, I get it.
No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. No matter how you live your life, at some point, you’re going to make mistakes and you’re going to hurt people- whether it’s intentional or unintentional. It’s important to recognize your wrong actions, learn from them, and do better. But what do you do if people are always holding you accountable for something? Constantly reminding you of your fuck-ups?
I messed up… and I’m accepting all of the backlash and consequences. But moving on from something can be difficult when people are always reminding you of what you did- whether it’s through their actions or words- especially if you already feel guilty enough. You’ve beaten yourself up enough for the situation already and no matter what you do to right your wrongs… it will take time for people to move forward from it.
My mother told me that you can do a million good things for people but you make one bad mistake and that’s it– people will always hold that against you. And it sucks.
My older sister followed by saying, “you can’t blame these people for how they’re reacting– they’re hurt. You hurt them. You had it coming and you deserve it to a certain extent, but you shouldn’t have to constantly hear it or be reminded of it every day.”
But someone dear to me said, “it doesn’t matter if you did or didn’t mess up- people will always find a reason to talk shit about you.” He continued by saying, “why do you care so much about the opinions of people who shouldn’t even matter? As long as the people who do matter think you’re in check- then that’s all that matters.”
At the end of the day, if you know you fucked up and you’re doing your best to better yourself then that’s all that really matters. Don’t beat yourself up even more. And don’t think too much into people’s actions- it’s all reasonable. But in doing your best to fix everything and live your best life- don’t keep persisting these people. If they lash out at you, if they ignore you- let them manage in their own ways. Give them space & time. You can’t force a relationship with anyone.
People shouldn’t make you feel worse if they know that you’re hurting and feel terrible enough.
But you shouldn’t allow them to make you feel that way.
Give space. Give time.
and in the end, keep doing good. And maybe all of the good that you do will hopefully erase the bad.
Hopefully.
x J
