last year, I made a recap on every new thing that I’ve experienced: whether it was having someone close to me come out to me or dealing with jealousy in its truest form for the first time ever- I made a short list & wrote it alllll down based off of my journal excerpts: http://infatuatedwithsimplicity.com/the-age-of-19/

I haven’t been journaling recently because I haven’t felt inspired to pick up the pen BUT throughout this school year, I sure as hell have learned & grown a lot as a person. (I think if there was a medal for most personal growth I’d give it to the person next to me… I’m kidding, let me be self-rewarding for once and give it to myself.) *slow clap*

So without further ado, some lessons learned at the age of 20:

1. stop throwing around the word best friend. there are people way more deserving of that title & just because people are nice to you for a period of time doesn’t mean they’re your best friend.

2. friends don’t lie to friends. (I wish there was a way to emphasize a period!)

3. no one in this world is perfect, you will make mistakes, & you’ll look like an asshole BUT at the end of the day- if you own up to your mistakes, apologize, learn, & grow from it- then that’s all that matters.

4. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW PEOPLE ULTIMATELY CHOOSE TO TREAT YOU. Everyone operates differently, it doesn’t matter what you do. Everyone has their own personal manual that they live by. It’s okay if your manual is different.

5. so, stop trying to please people. you can be the prettiest sunflower in the entire world but some people will just prefer roses instead.

6. change isn’t always bad. sometimes, people meet & change each other for the better. keep those people in your life.

7. everyone is entitled to their own feelings- including you.

8. the relationship that people have with someone else should not affect the way that you feel. Everyone is intertwined. bring harmony among those lines that are delicate.

9. the older you get, the scarier the world seems to be. you can still be kind. you can still be a light. don’t let the world or the people in it try to bring you down.

10. you should not assume the perspective of how someone else will view the same story.

11. no one gets to tell you who you should & should not fall in love with. that’s something not even you can control.

12. people that ridicule mental health are not people that should be in your life. you need people that will help you grow, not people who will heighten the self-destructive thoughts & make you feel like a “cry for help.”

13. put down the cigarette box. it’s been a heavy burden you’ve carried for far too long.

14. not everyone understands the severity of anxiety or depression. not everyone will understand why you can’t leave your bed to feed yourself or why you have trouble speaking sometimes. no one but you will understand- so take care of yourself first, always.

15. not everyone has the same coping mechanisms. learn to work with the different ways people deal with stress/pain. (as long as they’re mentally/physically healthy)

16. you can’t force a relationship with anyone- that doesn’t just include significant others but friends, parents, etc.

17. speak more positive energy than negative- always.

18. in any relationship, after an argument, you should never let the other person go to sleep mad or upset. talk it out first, don’t just leave.

19. as you grow older, maintaining long distance friendships will become harder & harder. check up on your friends, even if you just randomly call them to tell them that you love them.

20. loneliness has nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them actually understand you. find comfort in knowing that there are people who understand you for who you truly are.

We, as humans, are constantly growing and adapting after every situation that’s thrown at us. I think that it’s important to remain confident in who you are and to never let the world change you. Stay genuine, listen and share stories with others, connect with each other, and be a light. More lessons will come with each year that passes and I think that’s the beautiful part of being human- to be able to grow. I look forward to the lessons that I’ll learn at the age of 21 but for now- I’m going to keep growing and loving.

 

J.C.