World Mental Health Day was on Thursday, October 10th but it should be a year-round topic.
For those of you who have been following my journey for a while, you’ve followed me through some dark times and I thank you for that.
For those of you who only come here every so often for my reviews, travel tips, or fashion related topics- let me re-introduce myself.
My name is Jessica Chau and I’m a survivor of my suicide attempts.
I like to say “my” because it gives me a sense of power of what I thought had control over for me for the longest time. In highschool, I was diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety. At the time, I had no idea that mental illness was even a real thing. I grew up in a strict Asian household where mental illness was all in your head and if you have a “strong willpower” you can just “get over it.”
Fact check: mental health is not just in your head and it affects your physical health as well!!!
Anxiety is closely tied to your digestive system and most people who suffer from severe anxiety will often get stomach pains, have trouble digesting food, and even feel nauseous/light-headed. Furthermore, when people suffer panic attacks, it affects their heart rate- increasing their BPM because the brain believes that you, yourself, are in danger and is sending warning signals to the body. Yes, even if there is no physical threat, your mind can trick your body into thinking that it is in danger. People going through panic attacks can sometimes shut down because their bodies can’t stop shaking, they become short of breath, and they can’t see straight in front of them or get a good grip of anything.
Not only has everything that I just said been scientifically and psychologically proven through many studies but I, myself, have experienced it all first-hand.
People can develop mental illness due to many different reasons. Whether it was their environmental upbringing, a chemical imbalance within the brain, or a traumatic event.
Regardless of the cause, everyone is going through their own personal struggles and have their own stories. Even if it seems like “they have it all” and “should be happy.”
Everyone has experienced love, lost, and pain so be kind to everyone you meet.
I’m no longer afraid to admit that I struggle with my own mental health because I want other people to see how normal it is. My old therapist taught me that there are boundaries when it comes to how healthy your brain is and at one point you can cross the line.
Healthy: everyone thinks of killing themselves at one point in their life but not to the actual degree of commiting suicide. People will think, “what if I were never born? How would that affect the people around me?”, out of curiosity but not due to depression.
Moderately Healthy: If someone is sad and thinking of giving up but then recognize that they could never do that- that would be considered healthy because they are recognizing that it’s a bad and irrational thought.
Crossing the Line: If someone says they no longer see a point in living, they begin to disconnect themselves from friends/family, and they create a plan to end their life while actively taking steps to fulfill said plan (buying medicine to overdose on)- then this is all considered unhealthy because the person is acting upon their thoughts.
As a friend/family member, the best thing that you can do is recognize those steps that your loved one is taking. If you notice that they’re purposely distancing themselves then reach out to them- words can hold so much meaning. Encouraging, supportive, kind, and loving words can mean so much to someone who is losing hope and not able to see a light.
So, let us all take care of ourselves, check in on yourself mentally, be conductors of your own light and radiate that onto others.
And if you cannot conduct your own light then someone who loves you will help show you how and in the meantime- they will share their own.
And you will never be a burden.
You will never be “too much.”
And these are all affirmations that I still try to tell myself every day.
Because mental health should be spoken about and checked on every day.
Not just one.
Staying strong,
Jessica
